The Great Sontaran War

"I am not your pet."

Writer: James Goss

Format: Audio

Released: October 2021

Series: Torchwood Monthly 55

Featuring: Ianto

Synopsis

The Great Sontaran War has raged across the cosmos for millennia and finally it is coming to the Earth. 

Major Kreg has been dispatched to carry out a strategic assessment of the planet. He will learn about the dominant life form, decide what the world has to offer, and discover the ultimate value of the human race.

For Torchwood, there is only one place to put him. Welcome to the Mumbles Bay Caravan Park. 

Verdict

The Great Sontaran War was a great episode to continue my way through the monthly range from Torchwood at Big Finish! I was very excited by the prospect of this story because the Sontarans are a huge favourite of mine and whilst this was a little different than I anticipated, it was still a thoroughly enjoyable listen! I didn't actually read the synopsis prior to listening and I hadn't really paid much attention in detail to the CD cover art, so the prominent role of the cat was sensational. I have a cat myself and definitely consider myself a cat person, so the way Major Kreg was growing attached to his newfound pet was hilarious. The way Sontarans see and think of everything in terms of war and tactics was marvellous when it came to the cats. He knew they were by far superior and he couldn't understand the problem when Mrs Betty's bird was eaten by his cat who was comically dubbed as the Group Marshall. That was pretty marvellous and I find it pretty surprising that he went with a rank above his own! Ianto being there to basically look after Kreg was funny when the Sontaran made his own analogies of being treated like a pet. It was hard to argue against it! Putting him in a perception filter and calling him Craig was just really good Sontaran humour. The way he took everything so literally as well was a delight. One thing I think missing from the episode was a bit of action. I almost wanted Ianto to provoke Kreg a little to get him in the mood for war, but the slow burning pace in which he invited the Rutan Host to take them on singlehandedly was very admirable! He had accepted his fate as dying and bypassing the Torchwood network defences on the laptop he was provided with to reach out to the old enemy was marvellous. I loved his discussions with Ianto regarding the Great Sontaran War and how it first started with nobody entirely sure on the origins. I feel like that's a story that has to be told one day (if it hasn't been already in a format I'm yet to discover)! Mumbles Bay is a pretty nice place and is not a bad destination at all for a caravan park. Kreg learning about capitalism and finding the concept ridiculous was amusing and it's a fun and subtle way for political commentary. Ianto sums it up well though in stating it's the best system they've got at the moment. Kreg as a Marxist is a fun concept though! I thought Kreg caring for his Group Marshall was actually rather sweet and he wasn't exactly happy about having to sleep lying down because he was a source of warmth. Nothing else of course. Definitely not compassion. Kreg not being a fan of Mr Higgins because was using his landlord privileges to assert control and prevent hot water access to the park residents was fantastic and he was going to take it up with the man himself. Breaking his jaw wasn't quite the way to go though! A swift apology later pretty much sorted things though and I liked that Kreg was standing up for what was fair. It wasn't the farmers fault that their boss didn't pay the rent out of the wages when they weren't paid themselves. Kreg luring the Rutan Host in was fantastic and initially it was the way he chose to die in accepting his fate and not getting the report back to Sontar regarding the human race. But he achieved a huge victory which was terrific! I liked how in his departure he wanted assurances that his cat would be looked after, and now here he was protecting a caravan park. Sensational. Overall, a little bonkers but a great load of fun. A terrific listen.

Rating: 8/10