Two Rivers and a Firewall: Black Friday

"They're just plastic. They're just things."

Writers: Lauren Mooney & Stewart Pringle

Format: Audio

Released: August 2022

Series: Diary of River Song 10.03

Featuring: River

Synopsis

Omnia Forum might just be the greatest shop in the galaxy and it's celebrating two hundred years at the heart of the retail sector. But when River attends the celebratory gala she finds it less 'everything must go' and more 'everything has gone'... apart from the Autons.

Verdict

Black Friday was a great episode to continue my way through the Two Rivers and a Firewall tenth series of The Diary of River Song! This was a really fun episode and definitely the best of the series so far. I didn't read the synopsis prior to listening to the story so I was pleasantly surprised by the appearance of the Autons! They seem to be the main selling point of the boxset to go against River Song so I was expecting them in the finale so this was a pleasing twist. I didn't get the vibes of them being present and with them not arriving into the episode until around the twenty-five minute mark, that just enhanced the moment for me! I mean, an intergalactic and literally planetary shop is a great place to find the Autons as the plastic present would be in a mass abundance! The idea of there literally being millions of shop window dummies and mannequins was terrific, especially when the question from River was entirely rhetorical. It didn't need thinking about! Mikhail was a fascinating character and one I really did feel sorry for at the start. He was clearly troubled and suffering the mental impact of being left forgotten and alone for so long. The greatest shop in the galaxy was actually very far removed from being just that and it was a fun concept to have the Autons place their bets on it being a success story and infiltrate before opening, only to be left stuck by the ion dampeners that were in place to prevent shoplifting. Escape was pretty difficult and that meant the Nestene Consciousness was going hungry. It had its presence in so much plastic, but there was nobody there to exert control over or just help them escape. The invitation to River was a clever means of getting her there, but throughout she maintained the difficulty of using her vortex manipulator to get more than just herself out. As she mentioned, it was the equivalent of a jet-ski rather than a minibus! She couldn't carry passengers, although the way she came around to the idea of being smooshed with Mikhail was pretty amusing. Their relationship was pretty interesting and I like the twist of him being an Auton duplicate all along. It wasn't a huge surprise given how troubled he was and his general demeanour, and River having knowledge from her father and what happened to him in The Pandorica Opens/The Big Bang was a nice touch. There was just too much of his personality in the imprint and he held firm even when the Nestene Consciousness was defeated by River using the manipulator. That was nice and when he was non-organic she got very flirty indeed! That's just River but I did enjoy the innuendo. Almost as much as Mikhail initially using an Auton as a coat rack. I thought the revelation that he was actually the founder of the shop was unexpected but it made sense. He was a terrible businessman and the failure ha quite literally grounded him to a halt. He had no means off and I am intrigued by the way things concluded as it does appear that he was joining her on her travels. Might he be a new companion moving forward? Or is it just more of a little fling? I'm leaning towards the latter but I won't hate the former if it happens as it'll be a nice bit of continuity. I thought the use of Amica to converse with the Nestene Consciousness was clever and I also liked the silliness of the Glompers. Overall, this was a fun little episode that actually had a strong emotional pull at its heart. A very good listen! 

Rating: 8/10