Two Monks, One Mistress

"Is it wrong to start having romantic feelings towards yourself?"

Writer: James Kettle

Format: Audio

Released: September 2021

Series: Missy 3.03

Featuring: Missy, The Monk

Synopsis

On the trail of some weapons-grade plutonium, Missy and the Mink visit Renaissance Italy and the house of an elderly Borgia. But some else is en route to the Tuscan villa with designs on the old man's treasures. Someone the Monk will soon know very well...

Verdict

Two Monks, One Mistress was a very fun conclusion to the Missy and the Monk third series of Missy! This has been a really terrific boxset full of humour and comedy as I expected from the first two outings between Missy and the Monk in each of the first two series. And now this finale may have set up an entirely new spinoff series! This one started in magnificent form with Missy calling the Monk her companion and really asserting her authority and getting him to carry the bags, using the Doctor's companions of an example of their usefulness and the redundant questions they asked. The Monk of course obliged which was great stuff. The setting of Tuscany in 1506 was excellent and I always enjoy the potential when the Monk visits Earth's history. Missy was en route to pick up some plutonium from who she thought was Guvnax but there was actually Francesca, an accomplice of the Nun, masquerading in a terrible disguise. She was hardly a believable man! And yet the Monk didn't see through it which was marvellous. The Nun's return after her emphatic battle with the Tenth Doctor in The Wrong Woman was brilliant and the prospect of two different incarnations of the meddling Time Lord who can't decide on his/her name was wonderful. The pair meeting was so much fun with the psychic scroll revealing all. Missy describing herself as a master criminal and describing events such as Logopolis and The End of Time was excellent, but the mention of Time-Flight and the magician disguise was presented with fantastic humour. Even the Monk was questioning the logic! Missy knowing that the Nun was the future incarnation of her current companion was good and I liked that she actually had a deal with her to split the plutonium in return for the coordinates of her Master TARDIS. At least she thought. The Nun claimed she was going to torture her previous self to the point of regeneration, albeit vaguely, and ensure that she was the author of her own destiny. That sounded whacky and meddling, so I was actually a little surprised when the Nun was actually trying to rescue her past self from Missy's clutches! The flirting between each meddling incarnation was humorous and I liked how they planned to work together against Missy, and got caught trying to steal away the plutonium. Missy was onto them in a flash which I loved. Her continuing with the charade of marrying the Duke was amusing, especially when Francesca revealed she was a woman as if Missy was clueless! Missy showing the wrong scroll to Borgia and him thinking she was in love was great and I loved Missy's reply when he stated they would have several children. Would they steal them? Great stuff. I loved that the Monk gave Missy the wrong scroll at the end and sent her on her way back to the Master TARDIS, whilst potentially setting up future adventures between the Monk and the Nun! They looked to sell plutonium to the Aztecs. What could possibly go wrong? Overall, a terrific audio!

Rating: 8/10