River of Time

"The universe is full of questions to which I may never get the answers."

Writer: Andrew Lane

Format: Short Story

Released: February 2016

Printed in: The Legends of River Song 05

Featuring: River Song

Synopsis

"Hello, sweetie!"

Melody Pond, Melody Malone, River Song... She has had many names. Whoever she really is, this archaeologist and time traveller has had more adventures (and got into more trouble) than most people in the universe.

And she's written a lot of it down. Well, when you're married to a Time Lord (or possibly not), you have to keep track of what you did and when. Especially as it may not actually have happened to both of you yet.

These are just a few of River Song's exploits, extracted from her journals. Sometimes, she is with the Doctor. Sometimes she's on her own. But wherever and whenever she may be, she is never far from danger and excitement.

This is just a tiny portion of her impossible life. But it will reveal more than you've ever known about the legend that is River Song.

Verdict

River of Time was a terrific way to conclude The Legends of River Song! It's taken me quite a while to complete this collection of short stories depicting a number of new adventures for River Song, but definitely not as long as it took me to get started as I somehow managed to purchase the book for £1 on eBay back around the time it was released (including postage!). It was certainly worth the money and this was a very fun way to finish things. I really liked the way this one was told and even though it was with River narrating and in the first person, something I am not usually much of a fan of, it really did feel like a story was happening rather than just being told. I liked that a lot and it was quite refreshing. The humour that came at the start with River Song and the Governor when it came to their relationship was wonderful. That was River at her best and it was fun to realise that there was an understanding between the pair when it came to River being able to just leave Stormcage as and when she pleased. I mean, she had a packed bag ready to go outside of her cage! That was brilliant. Just the general setting of Stormcage for the first few pages was good and I liked how she was planning on escaping for a bit when she was summoned to Professor Forcade. He was an interesting character and his knowledge of River Song and being a fellow archeologist was great. They got on well enough and their shared enthusiasm for the Precursors species in the universe was excellent. I found that really fascinating and would love for a more in-depth look at them. I liked River's theory on why those races from the dawn of time were a lot larger than the current species average. It was also fantastic to re-explore Time Lord history and River's knowledge on the subject and how they went around and defeated the likes of the Racnoss and the Great Vampires to name a couple was just brilliant! The Qwern having been part of the Gallifreyan alliance was intriguing and I thought their appearance as essentially giant crabs was very good. Their role in Forcade's archeological team literally becoming head lice, as in lice with human heads, was terrific. That was quite the image! Her discovery of the TARDIS with a note detailing it as the property of River Song was excellent and I just found myself fascinated by everything that was going on which is obviously a positive. The revelation that it wasn't in fact the Doctor's TARDIS was very much a surprised, but the marbled description of its interior was excellent and the white mushroom shape that served as the console was so different to the TARDISes we know from the Doctor's time. It turned out that this was a very early TARDIS from the early times. It was a Qwerm trap and they had millions ready to hatch having been locked away behind a time field for only a few weeks from their perspective, but millions of years from the outside. That was great! The introduction of Rocinate was superb and I thought she was a fantastic character given she was stuck between bodies and regenerations. That must have been quite something. The concept of the TARDISes of this time having a Vortex Web and essentially being connected was very good and I liked how that was used to lure River Song and disguise itself as the Doctor's TARDIS. Of course, River was able to trap the Qwerm for good with a little help from Rocinate thanks to utilising the TARDIS backdoor and making anything that went through it come straight back in through the front. It was a loop that was inescapable which I liked. It was also powerful for River to be prepared to stay trapped if it meant saving the universe. That was great. Overall, a fantastic short story to finish the book!

Rating: 9/10