The Lying Old Witch in the Wardrobe

"Of course I'm the TARDIS!"

Writer: Mark Michalowski

Format: Short Story

Released: April 2003

Printed in: Short Trips: Companions 07

Featuring: Romana I

Synopsis

Adventures in time and space are no fun if there's no one to share them. the Doctor has taken along many people on his travels – humans, aliens and robots. Did he really care for any of them? What in their previous life fitted them for the role of companion – and how did they cope after they left the TARDIS?

These seventeen stories look at the Doctor's trusty companions, before, during and after their travels with the eccentric Time Lord. Discover the truth about Romana's regeneration, find out what happened when Zoe encountered the Doctor again, and learn which of his companions the Doctor cared for the most...

Verdict

The Lying Old Witch in the Wardrobe was a rather extraordinary story to continue my way through the Companions edition of Short Trips. This was audacious to say the least and I absolutely loved it because of that. This was essentially The Doctor’s Wife before it aired in what it did. I was incredibly excited by just the start alone in seeing that this was dealing with Romana I’s regeneration at the start of Destiny of the Daleks, but I wasn’t actually expecting her to be essentially replaced! It’s a bold claim and one that is difficult to refute really given what happened and the lack of the Time Lady taking her radiation pills. I loved the concept behind Iraj with Romana thinking her of a private mistress in terms of the wardrobe. We know that the Doctor’s fashion availability is unrivalled and almost infinite so it wasn’t a surprise for Romana to be lost within, but what was a surprise was that Iraj revealed herself to be a manifestation of the TARDIS! That’s such a huge thing and with this being released prior to the modern era, I think it’s tremendous. The romantic implications were also quite intriguing and not entirely what I would have expected. Iraj claiming to be the one that the Doctor cared about most was fantastic and honestly it’s difficult to argue, especially with the current incarnation at this point in time. Hundreds of years of her taking him to tackle dictators and evil, but she wasn’t happy with what had happened over the course of the Key to Time season. A randomiser? She was not best pleased. I thought that was good stuff. I thought it was fun for Iraj to be taking on numerous forms to basically showcase to the Doctor as we would see in Destiny and it’s fun to think that it wasn’t actually Romana at all flaunting her whacky and selective regeneration powers. It probably helps keep the lore around regeneration intact too as that’s something that has never quite felt right. I loved that we were addressing that. I was though quite surprised for Iraj to take the form of Princess Astra from The Armageddon Factor because she thought she was the most beautiful specimen in the universe. Might the real life relations between Lalla Ward and Tom Baker be why that was done? I’m all for it. It’s hard to argue that Romana II isn’t attractive, but the idea of taking that form entirely to try and get the Doctor to look at her as more than just a friend or companion was quite surprising! He just liked his blue box and that’s how he saw the TARDIS as her most attractive. I thought it was fun for Iraj to remark on meeting Davros and being on Skaro, as it would now not be Romana who partook in those events! Quite incredible. Audacious to say the least. But it somehow works. I love that this does serve as a regeneration story for Romana I and the way the TARDIS seemingly plays a role in deciding the form for her next incarnation as being that of Astra is very intriguing. The hunt for the schoolgirl outfit at the end though feels slightly over the top, but it’s brash and questions whether Romana might want more than a friendship? I’m not sure I ever felt that way on screen but they are the same species after all and he did whisk her away from Gallifrey longer than intended to see the universe. Some fun and exciting things to ponder. But overall, a fantastic read! 

Rating: 9/10