Two Rivers and a Firewall: The Two Rivers

"Nice to meet me."

Writer: Tim Foley

Format: Audio

Released: August 2022

Series: The Diary of River Song 10.01

Featuring: River

Synopsis 

River Song finds herself on an irresistible mission – investigating the tomb of the legendary River Song! Except the statues don't resemble her and the tomb contains the body or someone very different... or does it?

Verdict

The Two Rivers was a very fun start to the Two Rivers and a Firewall tenth series of The Diary of River Song! I must say, as far as umbrella titles go for s series this has to be up there with the worst, but I won't let that get in the way of what was a great opener! The idea of River Song meeting herself is very exciting and whilst I think audio might be a difficult format for that to happen with River at two different points in her life played by Alex Kingston, we essentially got the second best thing here in the form of a future incarnation from another universe. Of course, we know from the events of Let's Kill Hitler that River gave up all of her future regenerations for the Doctor and yet this alternate version didn't even remember who he was! That was fascinating as I imagine River Song would be an incredibly different character and personality without him in her life. I mean, she did marry the man! She was conceived aboard his TARDIS in the Time Vortex and that at least was something the other River seemed to remember as she referred to herself as a Child of the TARDIS. That has a really nice ring to it and she also had recollections of Demon's Run going back to A Good Man Goes to War, but that's where the memories of the Doctor or anything related to him seemed to stop! I mean, she had a TARDIS which was exciting but she was so far ahead that she could barely remember the frizz of being the incarnation of River we most associate with the character. That's crazy! The whole concept of River being on a mission to investigating her own tomb is very The Name of the Doctor which I love but this was a lot more intentional. It's fun to think that the statues weren't bearing her resemblance and it's only in her current form that she went by the name River Song. I thought the threat of the Karla-Gard was pretty good and the other River having no regard for this universe in hoping to simply trap them and leave them behind was great because our River wasn't having any of that! I liked how they were like the dust of the Vortex and getting a namedrop for the likes of the Reapers and Vortisaurs is always a nice moment. Their connection with time was good and allowed for both Rivers to try and fix things by going back in time and retracing their footsteps. The death of Dern actually hit the other River hard but their continuously having to go further back in time because they were recognised and whilst that did get a tad silly and overdone in the second half of the episode, the fact it was a River audio (with two of them!) made it a little more acceptable in my book! The whole thing turning into a paradox was inevitable and I was surprised it took as long as it did for that word to get mentioned, but the Karla-Gard actually sounding scared at being stuck in one was a great way to see them off. The other River realising that the bridge was actually only created by the paradox was intriguing and it's just something I can't get my head around in the best way possible. A bootstrap paradox should be impossible. How can something be if it has no origin? And that's part of the fun. I liked how River got to meet another version of herself who was familiar but also distinctly different. Their chemistry and interaction was terrific and I liked how it blossomed as the episode went on. Overall, barmy and places but a really good little concept! A great listen to kick off the series.

Rating: 8/10