Where Did They Get the Pig?

"Hunting should be naked."

Writer: Russell T Davies

Format: Short Story

Released: April 2025

Printed in: DWM Special Edition 69

Featuring: Blon-Fel-Fotch Passameer-Day-Slitheen

Synopsis

On a remote Welsh farm, a lonely widow is offered life-changing sums for a solitary pig. But she insists they aren't for sale...

Verdict

Where Did They Get the Pig? was a quirky little tale to appear in the latest Special Edition of Doctor Who Magazine! It's a bit barmy and staggering really to get six pages of text on such a small thing, but that's the beauty of Doctor Who sometimes. I'm not sure it is the kind of adventure I would have expected in an issue that celebrates twenty years of the Ninth Doctor and the modern era, but I'm not going to kick up a fuss! It's extra content and I'm very grateful for that. I was thinking whilst reading that if Aliens of London/World War Three was broadcast today, I think it would be well and truly bashed on social media. I don't think the audience of 2025 would accept farting monsters, but thankfully the world wasn't so critical back then and we could just enjoy the fun. The Slitheen made a profound impact on the younger audience back then and because we've grown up with them, they're not seen as being too silly. This story was a reminder of how bonkers they are and that's quite fun. I love the description of the unzipping of the human skin and the image of it being like a hoodie was superb. I thought Ma was a strong character to lead the story and she was in something of a lonely way with her child away and her husband dead. She was vulnerable and Margaret Blaine was on hand to try and exploit that. I thought the inclusion of the Welsh-English divide was great and that casual realisation by Ma when she hears the English accent of Blaine was terrific. There's a strong sense of Welshness, especially in rural communities like Caebanc Farm here. The remote nature of the setting was good and the humour that came from the Slitheen offering firstly a fiver for a pig but then five-hundred grand was quite something! I was stunned Ma declined that last offer as I highly doubt her son would have been disappointed to get half a million for one animal! The anger and frustration building in Blaine was good to explore and Ma recognising that she was bored was something that struck me. I think the illustrations that accompany the story are impressive and the style is terrific. They really help bring the adventure to life, even if it is just ludicrous. This is a rating on my lower scale and I'm usually pretty generous, and despite there being nothing particularly bad or wrong with the story, it was just somewhat average. That happens and it's no bad thing! But how good was a story about the Slitheen obtaining a pig for their space crash going to be? It could only be so impressive! I thought the little line about them already trying dogs was good and the prospect of the UNIT soldier killing a walking dog rather than a pig would have had fandom in tatters in my opinion. I thought Ma tackling Blaine with the vinegar was good and I liked that she was already cooking to have the juices on hand. One thing I didn't understand was how the Slitheen was able to survive? We saw Mickey's kitchen get covered in green Slitheen bits after being doused in vinegar and that seemed to happen again here but she just stumbled off and drove away? That didn't seem in keeping with what we saw on screen. Or did other Slitheen then use the suit? If that's the case some confirmation on that would have been beneficial. I also wasn't too sure about Ma not actually being the one to supply the pig, so does the name of the story actually make sense if the focus didn't answer the titular question? That's a tad harsh and it is fun to think the Slitheen then spent one hundred grand on a pig, but this is just a ludicrous concept for a story even if it does appear in a Doctor Who Magazine Special Edition. Regardless, it was still fun. And that cameo at the end for the Ninth Doctor as Ma explained on her deathbed that she once fought a monster in her kitchen and won was terrific.

Rating: 6/10